Daddyroy’s Lounge

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22″ was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer.
We just got off Route 142."

Here's a blast from the past, but still groovin. If you know it, get with it!

Ohio Players - Ecstasy
ConFunkShun - Let Me Put Love on Your Mind
Isley Brothers - Footsteps in the Dark
Norman Connors - You Are My Starship
Bootsy Collins - I'd Rather Be With You
OJays - Your Body's Here With Me
Angela Bofill - The Feelin's Love
Average White Band - A Love of Your Own
Natlie Cole - I Can't Say No
New Birth - Been Such A Long Time
Ohio Players - Honey
Marvin Gaye - Distant Lover
Pieces Of A Dream - Tonight's The Night
Ohio Players - She's a Bad Mamma Jamma
The Gap Band - Early In The Morning
Ohio Players - Climax

Enjoy!

Have you ever watched an Al Pacino movie and not be captivated by the passion and life that he puts into every role that he plays? I think not! He is, the man! Are you feeling me?? The Godfather, Scent of a Woman, The Recruit, Heat, and on and on …………..

Read more on Alfredo James Pacino at AMCTV.COM 

http://amctv.com/person/detail?CID=1270-1-EST 

Take this psychology test. You may surprise yourself. There are 5 things going on simultaneously which need to be taken care of:
> > 1. The telephone is ringing.
> > 2. The baby is crying.
> > 3.  A visitor knocks at the front door or doorbell rings.
> > 4. The laundry is hanging on the line and it begins to rain.
> > 5. The water tap in the kitchen is running.
 

In what order would you take care of the problems? Jot down the order in which YOU would handle things, then scroll down after you've made your decisions. Each decision will represent how you look at your life.
 

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

HAVE YOU MADE YOUR DECISIONS …………………..????????

PSYCH TEST - Analysis
> > > > 1. The phone represents JOB/ CAREER.
> > > > 2. The baby represents FAMILY.
> > > > 3. The visitor represents FRIENDS.
> > > > 4. The laundry (believe it or not) represents INTIMACY.
> > > > 5. The running water represents MONEY/WEALTH.
Makes you think, huh? How closely did your answers come to stating your priorities in life?

P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens)

1)
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards… One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said,  "Now don't get mad at me…..I know we've been friends for a long time……but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
2)
Two elderly women were eating at a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mable's ear and she said, "Mable, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mable answered, "I have a suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is,"
3)
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,  "Was I gettin' in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful.." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells,  "I'll come up and help both  of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
4)
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says.  "She got in the back-seat by mistake.

Thought you all would like this wonderful fruitcake recipe - NO WAIT -   It's not like any recipe you've ever had for fruitcake - So read on!!! And enjoy!!!

1 Gallon whiskey
1 Cup water
1 Cup sugar
4 Large eggs
2 Cups dried fruit
1 Teaspoon salt
1 Cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup butter in a fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still top quality.
Try another tup.

Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner.

If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt Or something.
Check the whiskey.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table Spoon Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out the window.
Check the whiskey again.

Go to bed - who the heck likes fruitcake anyway!!!!

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Did you say ……….? If you're not a patient person, you will either learn patience or quit! I teach a computer class for seniors at the local neighborhood center, and I must say this has been an experience. It has definitely taught me patience and humility, and has reinforced the principle of "Having respect for your elders"! My youngest student is 55 and the eldest is 85. They are something else! I enjoy my class very much and look forward to teaching them skills that they have either not had the opportunity to learn before, or have neglected. None the less they show up every week eager to learn. One of my students fell down the stairs at her home and broke her leg, and she still came to class, wheelchair and all! To me that was very impressive, and strengthened my commitment to teaching them even the more. Who says you can teach an old dog new tricks!

A smile can only go so far! A friend of mine was recently married. He went half way accross the world to find this woman. The funny part is that she doesn't speak english, and he can't speak her language. Thus far they've managed to use a translator here and there, and when it came down to it, you can tell when a woman wants you, in any language……..who needs words!

That was yesterday! Now she's trying to learn english and the presure seems to be on her, because he's not trying to learn her language as he should be. You guessed it, they are both frustrated, her more so than him. Not only is she far away from her home, she can't tell her man how she feels. They've smiled till they're blue in the cheeks. Communication is Key!

Jane was a wonderful woman. She married and had 13 children. Her husband died.  She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked The Lord for this very loving woman, offering as his closing comment: "Lord, they're finally together."

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs!!!"